One Big Retirement Home: Ft. Lauderdale

Earlier this week I went on a business trip to Ft. Lauderdale then decided to stick around a few more days and make a mini vacation around it. But the Sunshine State wasn't so sunshine...boooo! It rained all friggin' day, and when I say it rained it RAINED! We got the most rain ever in a non-hurricane...8 inches! Sounds like the size of my...stapler. I was gonna say stapler you perv.

But once our sales meeting was over and everyone flew home guess what...suns out full force and I'm tanning on the pool deck...so what does that tell ya? The sun loves it's alone time with Nelly Nandes. This is true.



So I check in at the the W Fort Lauderdale and let me tell you. This place rocks like granite! Not to mention that all the betties that work that are super fly which is never a bad thing. But can you expect any less from W? No not really. Oh yeah, see the roof one the right side of the pic? That's the WET, the pool deck. Yeah...kinda the shit.

So for the rest of the day I basically stayed in the hotel and relaxed because your boy was tired. THe morning I wake up at like 7:30am, don't ask me why, and I look out my window and see this:


...and I say to myself, "Self, this is gonna be a great day." Not to mention that I went down there during ProBowl/Super Bowl week and everywhere you turn there's something Super Bowl related. The Pats aren't in the Super Bowl so I really care zero about this weekend but if I had to pick a team it would be New Orleans because they have Reggie Bush and he's banging Kim Kardashian who's sisters with Kourtney Kardashian who I think is hot as shit.



Now, I WAS gonna go swimming in the ocean since I can't really do that back home...unless I enjoyed 20degree weather and snow mixed in with my sand. So I'm walking on the beach about to take a dip and I see this lifeguard house thing (what are they called again?) and I see a yellow and purple flag. Maybe the Lakers are in town too! I look closely and ummm...yeah...purple apparently is like the worst color on the beach. It means "Dangerous Marine Life"...aka SHARKS! Wait I'm from Boston..."SHAHKS!"



But I really wanted to go in the water so what do I do? I hop in my yacht that I happened to have docked down there, since I'm super rich, and I take a relaxing little stroll around town. It's not a HUGE yacht but you know, it's a recession...had to tone it down a bit.



After I'm done being a yacht pimp that I am I'm thinking "Dude, how am I gonna get back to the hotel?" You know, most people would take a cab...and it's really hard to get a cab in FTL...so I go rent a car. Do I go with the usual Maserati or Audi R8? Nope that's played out. Everyone down there drives one. So I say I wanna ride in style yet not look so pretentious and voila:



Who WOULDN'T want to ride around in this bundle of joy!?! So all in all a very relaxing trip. Definitely needed time away and relax. So then I check out and say bye to my new hottie W friends and who's checking in as I'm leaving? Michael Irvin. So I go say hi to my boy Mike cuz we go way back and I make sure the hotel gives him the room I just checked out of...cuz you know, he's Michael Irvin...the dude could use an upgrade. He was pretty excited about that.

So yeah. Back to Brockton.