Dear Sox Fans, Applications Available

The Yankees Clubhouse has opened up its membership to frustrated Red Sox fans around the globe. Why be disappointed with your home town team, that cares zero for its fans and join an organization with 26 World Series Championships and 39 Pennants; a team with more championships than any other professional sports team in the entirety of North America.

The Sox once again were embarrassed by the ever-so-great New York Yankees and in three games have been outscored 39-20 and have walked 28 batters in 27 innings. You don't need to be a mathematician to understand these numbers mean only one thing: spanking. Actually let me capitalize that: SPANKING. Ah, that feels so much better.

Even though the Sox did not come through offensively this series we can't blame the batters. And although the lack-luster picthing staff has put on an atrocious performance, fans can't really blame them either. Not that it matters to me because I could care less but the fingers should be pointing to Mr. Epstein and Mr. Francona. Theo had plenty of opportunity to fix his lame excuse of a bullpen; a bullpen with no left-handed reliever playing against a team where half the batters are left-handed. Francona doesn't know when to take out his starters. Josh Beckett walked 9 batters last night. No other Red Sox pitcher has walked that many guys in a game since 1975! Joe Torre would never have let that happen, but then again Torre is a much better manager. You can hate the Yankees but you have to respect Joe Torre.

As a manager how do you let your pitchers give up 3 runs without the Yankees even swinging a bat? With bases loaded Beckett and Delcarmen walked 3 batters scoring 3 runs. It must be tough being a Red Sox fan, but I woudn't know! I will always don the pinstripes.

So will the savior of the team, Sir Bloody Foot Curt Schilling, the Knight in Shining Armor save the day for the Sox tonight? I doubt it and Wells might as well forfeit tomorrow. If we can sweep the Sox in their own backyard I will be rocking the largest and most cheesiest smile this side of Oklahoma and finally Sox fans can stop blaming my Yankees and start looking at their own sorry excuse for a team.