31 August 2006

The Tao of Bruce Lee

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Bruce Lee, the man most people identify as the face of martial arts, had another passion most people do not associate him with: philosophy. With a degree in philosophy from the University of Washington and over 2000 books on the subject, Lee was as great of a philosopher and intellectual as he was a martial artist. After reading several books written by and of Bruce Lee I was able to open my eyes to the ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism, a school of thought of which Lee himself was a student. The following are several quotes from the master.

If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting, If I tell you I'm no good, You KNOW I'm lying.

Be Formless, shapeless like water. Now if you put water into a cup it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle, you put it into a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash, be water my friend.

If there is a God, he is within. You don't ask God to give you things; you depend on God for your inner theme.
Before I practiced the Way, A cloud was just a cloud and a mountain was just a mountain. After I'd studied the Way, a cloud was no longer a cloud; a mountain was no longer a mountain. Now that I understand the Way, A cloud is again just a cloud; a mountain is just a mountain. (The clouds and mountains are simply kicks and punches).

The mind is like a fertile garden in which anything that is planted, flowers or weeds, will grow. Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it. The more relaxed the muscles are the more energy can flow through the body. Using muscular tensions to try to "do" the punch, or attempting to use brute force to knock someone over, will only work to opposite effect.

Mere technical knowledge is only the beginning of Kung Fu, to master it, one must enter into the spirit of it.

There are lots of guys around the world that are lazy. They have big fat guts. They talk about chi power and things they can do, but don't believe it.

I'm not a master, I'm a student-master, meaning that I have the knowledge of a master and the expertise of a master, but I'm still learning, So I'm a student-master. I don't believe in the word master, I consider the master as such when they close the casket.

Do not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created another pattern and trapped yourself there.

Jeet Kune Do, It's just a name, don't fuss over it. There's no such thing as a style if you understand the roots of combat.

When I look around I always learn something, and that is to be yourself always, express yourself, and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate him. Now that seems to be the prevalent thing happening in Hong Kong, like they always copy mannerism, but they never start from the root of his being and that is, how can I be me?

Put every great teacher together in a room and they'd agree about everything, put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.

By adopting a certain physical posture, a resonant chord is struck in spirit. Wine may become so dilute that few will drink of it.

Eventually, you learn to read groups of words. Where a student will see three motions, the experienced man will see one, because he sees the overall energy path.

The void is no mere emptiness, but is real, free and existing. It is the source from which all things arise and return. It cannot be seen, touched or known, yet it exists and is freely used. It has no shape, size, color or form, and yet all that we see, hear, feel and touch is "it". It is beyond intellectual knowing and cannot be grasped by the ordinary mind. When we suddenly awake to the realization that there is no barrier, and has never been seen, one realizes that one is all things, mountains, rivers, grasses, trees, sun, moon, stars, universe are all oneself. There is no longer a division or barrier between myself and others, no longer any feeling of alienation or fear. Realizing this, results in true compassion. Other people and things are not seen as apart from oneself, on the contrary, as one's own body.

29 August 2006

Guess He Didn't Do It

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Even though I think this JonBenet Ramsey case has way too much media exposure, the whole ordeal with John Karr does raise some interesting questions. You have a man with obvious psychological issues confessing to killing JonBenet in 1996. He questioned and tested for several days when authorities find that Karr's story does not match their records of how JonBenet was murdered. Then just as he's about to make his court appearance prosecutors drop the charges against him stating his DNA does not match that which was found on her body. Those are the facts, but how do we react to it? Or do we even need to react?

Before I get into that I want to bring to light a quote from Karr's lawyer, Seth Temin: "We’re deeply distressed by the fact that they took this man and dragged him here from Bangkok with no forensic evidence confirming the allegations against him and no independent factors leading to a presumption that he did anything wrong.”

He said, his team was "distressed" that they "dragged" him Bangkok! First of all he wasn't dragged anywhere, if we recall he was treated rather royally flying him First Class and feeding him whatever he wanted. He wasn't treated like a murderer at all. Secondly, how could he be distressed about anything when his client confessed to killing the little girl! Imagine if you will that Mr. Temin's daughter, God forbid, was murdered years ago and someone confessed to killing her. Does he seriously believe that he would react similarly had authorities treated the confessed killer as they did with Karr? How would you react if you were in the same situation? Not sure why he made those comments because it clearly does not make any sense whatsoever.

My knowledge of the court system and its procedures are based on one Business Law class I took in college, so clearly I'm no authority on the subject. But like anything else, I go with logic, but forgive me if my questions are naive in any way. So I ask you this. If someone confesses to a crime is there a need to continue with the case? What would be the purpose of a defense team if their client has already confessed to a crime, a murder nonetheless? Charges were dropped against a man, John Karr, who confessed to murdering a 6 year old girl, stating there was not enough evidence to support his claim. In that case, is his confession enough evidence? Would you still want to see him put away based on his confession alone, just to put closure to this case? How would you react if you were her parent? What are your thoughts, if any, about this whole case?

I think these are interesting questions that test not only the judicial system but our character. As an outsider I'm not sure how I would react because either way this case does not affect me. If our laws weren’t' set up the way they were Karr would have no doubt paid the price. Therefore, on the one hand you have a crime that has gone punished, closure enough for some...possibly. On the other hand you still have the real killer at large.

I'm curious what you think about all of this and of the questions I raised. Email me your thoughts or feel free to comment below.

28 August 2006

Boston Traffic, Aaaargh!

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I’d like to think of myself as a rather calm and easygoing gentleman. Someone who takes things one day at a time with a high tolerance for stupidity and nonsensical behavior. But if there is one thing that continually boils the very blood that keeps me alive, it’s traffic. I understand that in a city like Boston, congestion comes with the territory so rush hour traffic is inevitable.

But, it is not traffic in the Hour of Rush that bothers me; it’s all other instances of highway constipation. For example, just the other day I left work early, hopped in my car, headed down Mass Ave and hopped on 93 South by the Boston Medical Center when it hit me. Not a car, but the sudden realization that everyone and their mother felt 2:30pm was the best time to drive. It was Sunday! Who drives on a Sunday? Isn’t Sunday the day of rest? Let’s take a lesson from God; he rests on Sunday so should we. The worst part is that I was in a rush to get home and a Sunday drive home from work which usually takes 25 minutes lasted almost an hour. Where are you people coming from and going to? Do me a favor and stay home on the weekends, especially the weekends when I work. If you need me to forward you my schedule I will be more than happy to acquiesce to your request.

Staying on the topic of traffic, Boston by far has the worst drivers in America. New York and Los Angeles has nothing on the law UN-abiding citizens of Boston. Traffic.com even has a term, “curiosity delays,” to describe the idiotically nosy drivers who slow down to observe the aftermath of an accident. How sadistic must you be to want to see the absolute destruction of vehicles and people?

I should rephrase however, because it’s not that Boston drivers are awful rather many do not follow the unwritten laws of Boston driving. For those of you who are not familiar you are probably one of the idiots I’ve been referring to, but I’ll lend a helping hand:

- If there is a long line of cars for an exit, it’s not uncommon to cruise down the adjacent lane waiting for that one person to delay moving forward so you can jump in line. If not, just go up to the front of the line and cut in at the last second.
- Taxis should always have the right of way, unless you are bent on suicide.
- Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he throws himself under the wheels of your car.
- The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
- Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving, thanks to strategically placed potholes designed to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
- Always look both ways when running a red light.
- There is no such thing as a short cut during rush-hour traffic in Boston.
- It is Boston tradition to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
- When driving in the fast lane you must be traveling at least 10-20 mph over the speed limit. If not, move over or be prepared to be harassed by honking and high beaming from the car behind you.
- Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour. - Directional signals will only confuse drivers so try not to use them.
- In the same token, hand signals won’t work either because Boston drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are waving them on to pass you.
- It is quite normal to honk at anyone who forces you to use your brakes. Brake pads do not come cheap so don’t waste them.
- If someone is on the phone and cuts you off you are encouraged to roll down your window and yell, “get the f--- off the phone you a—hole,” even if you have to put the person you’re talking to on hold.
- Contrary to popular belief the yellow light is not a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get through the intersection before the light turns red.
- When making a left turn employ what is commonly referred to as the “Boston Left” which occurs when you pull up to the middle of the intersection blocking the way of oncoming cars to your left and taking your left turn while cutting off the oncoming car to your right.

27 August 2006

MySpace, Bigger Than You Think

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MySpace.com, a site that generates more hits than Google, may seem like a simple site run by "Tom" but in actuality is a lot bigger than most people think. Reason: simple design and super user-friendly. It doesn't look like most corporate-run websites with fancy graphics and front-end technology and it gives its over 100 million users the feeling that they control the site, which they do. MySpace users have full freedom to do as they please which is exactly what founders Tom Anderson and Chris DeWolfe intended when they launched the site back in 2004. You may picture Tom running MySpace from a small office with a handful of employees but maintaining the fastest growing website with over 100 millions members needs a bit more than a few employees; over 300 to be exact and growing.

But MySpace did have a humble start. Tom Anderson, 30, and Chris DeWolfe, 40, started MySpace back in 2003, while working for Intermix Media, inviting local LA bands, promoters, and club owners to post pages and allowing fans to become their "friends." They got their idea from other social-networking sites like BlackPlanet and Friendster but planned to have a much broader vision. Friendster at the time was the largest site of its kind but when they began implementing certain restrictions its users migrated over to MySpace. In early 2005 Redpoint Ventures invested $15 million in MySpace's parent company, Intermix Media, but that was nothing compared to what Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. paid for it in six months later. How does $580 million sound? What the heck is News Corp. you ask? Well they only 20th Century Fox, Fox Television, FX, DirecTV, TV Guide, and the New York Post just to name a few. Now part of News Corp's Fox Interactive Media division does MySpace seem small to you now?

Hardly, and $580 million is a lot to pay for a website, but for a site with over 100 million members--and signing up 230,000 members a day--and 1 billion hits a day it could turn out to be a bargain price. Just because Murdoch is the 32nd richest person in America, worth over $6 billion, doesn't mean he just throws money away at any little venture without worrying about those three little letters: ROI, Return on Investment. How does a free site like MySpace return on Murdoch's investment? Advertisers! I did say 100 million members, right? While MySpace is boosting up its ad sales force it's also jacking up its ad rates (in comparison Yahoo charges $600,000 a day for an ad on the Yahoo.com homepage) and even selling MySpace pages to advertisers for a whopping $100,000 (P&G, Honda, and Wendy's have MySpace pages). Sierra Mist and Aquafina, two Pepsi brands, sponsor MySpace Comedy and MySpace Film, respectively, two of MySpace many features.

Speaking of features, MySpace is currently working on 20 new features. Tom and Chris are have already teamed up with Interscope Records to launch MySpace Records, and cell company Helio launching MySpace Mobile. Let’s not forget MySpace Film which was launched at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this year, MySpace comedy which boasts 8,000 comedians, MySpace Music home to 2.2 million bands, and plans on launching MySpace Fashion, MySpace News and MySpace Sports. That's not all, the dynamic duo are also developing VoIP, 11 new international sites of which the UK and Australia have already been launched, and e-commerce partnerships with either eBay or Amazon. With each added features comes with more users, which equals more dollars, greenbacks, Benjamins, cheddar, whatever you want to call it.

With all this money floating around how did Tom and Chris make out? Well, Chris DeWolfe reportedly made $2.9 million from the deal, not to mention the duo received millions more from their stake in MySpace Ventures--a minority owner of the site--and pretty hefty employment contracts when they joined News Corp. (which expires in 2007). So how does being owned by multi-billion dollar conglomerate affect MySpace? Well now they have sales goals to meet and budgets to review and maintain. But Tom and Chris as well as Mr. Murdoch have promised that the site will not lose its simple feel. You can't help but wonder whether MySpace will become another fad, like Blackplanet or MiGente. Doubtfully, because unlike other these other sites MySpace has deep pockets behind it and the site doesn't dictate what's cool, the users do. And as long as the users are free do so as they please MySpace isn't going anywhere.

And with that said, check out my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/nellynandes.

Source: Sellers, Patricia. "MySpace Cowboys." Fortune, September 4, 2006: 66-74.

Fantasy Football is Big $$$

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It's that oh-so-important time of year again. No, not back-to-school, Fantasy Football. Although I do not participate in Fantasy Football (only baseball and basketball) I did read a rather interesting article in Fortune Magazine. There are about 36.8 million Fantasy Football players in the U.S. which relates to about %12 of the population! Another interesting fact: Challenger, Gray & Christmas, a Chicago consulting firm, estimates that fantasy football costs companies up to $1.1 billion in lost productivity each week during the NFL regular season. No wonder our economy sucks!

Conversely, Fantasy Football is in fact generating millions of dollars a year for companies like Yahoo!, ESPN and CBS Sports. Some fantasy sites are free (Yahoo! and ESPN) but most sites charge about $25 per season, do the math. However, many of these sites, like CBS Sports, are leaving the fees at the door and going with free services which drive more traffic to their site, which means more advertising dollars of course. Since the internet business is pretty much all advertising (thanks to the advertising models of Google) it's no wonder companies like GMC, McDonald's, Budweiser, Toyota and Coke are big advertisers this year for Fantasy Football. So what does this all mean? To the average user, absolutely nothing, to big business, well, it's all about the Benjamins baby.

Sources: Fortune Magazine, Orlando Sentinel, CNNMoney.com

26 August 2006

The Moon in the Water

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The phenomenon of the moon in the water is likened to human experience. The water is the subject and the moon the object. When there is no water, there is no moon in the water, and likewise when there is no moon. But when the moon rises the water does not wait to receive its image, and when even the tinest drop of water is poured out the moon does not wait to cast its reflection. The moon does not intend to cast its reflection and the water does not receive its image on purpose. The event is caused as much by the water as by the moon, and as the water manifests the brightness of the moon, the moon manifests the clarity of the water. Everything does have a real relationship.

- Alan Watts

We are not simply isolated entities that stand apart from the universe, but are instead dynamic components of it, facets of the much greater whole - an active and capable part of the totality through which nature's power flows. Western logic has a rule entitled the law of identity whereby things are what they are (i.e., an apple is an apple) and that it is impossible for one thing to be and not to be something in the same space and time. In the Eastern philosophical mind, however, this either/or way of looking at life is innacurate; it is indeed possible for something to be opposite and yet the same. For example, man and woman, opposites one would think and yet the same in that both are human beings. In fact, man and woman are not so much opposites as they are complementaries; divided in such a fashion as to be able to reproduce themselves with their union. Man and woman, then, are the legs upon which the life of our species stands, and when one half is absent, the whole perishes.

Tired Ain't the Word

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Who wakes up at 8:00am on their day off? I'm such a loser. Talk to you in a bit.

24 August 2006

Funniest Man on the Planet

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Dave Chappelle once again proved why he is the funniest man on the planet. He came with pretty much no material and put on a hilariously funny show starting off with a standing ovation from the sold-out Agganis Arena, home of BU hockey. "I said, make sure black people can’t find me. Put me in a hockey arena!"

"I appreciate you all coming out. It’s no fun when it’s just me by myself. I learned that the hard way. Or as you know it, ‘Chappelle’s Show: Season Three, the Lost Episodes.’

His hour long routine featured mainly political humor and warning the crowd to not let the media distract them from what is really important. He had many stories on Boston including one about a fight with a crystal meth addict and how he's scared of Boston cops because "they used to wear them Nazi boots!" He also mentioned Crispus Attucks, "that niggas needs a statue," and how the Boston Tea Party was "the gayest shit I've ever heard."

Chappelle had the crowd laughing the entire time and for $60 he better make us laugh. But the surprise of the night had to have been Joe DeRosa, who opened for Chappelle. That's like opening up for Prince, it's not easy. But DeRosa came out full force and was just as funny as Dave. From bits on why guy drinks don't have names, plenty of sex jokes, birthday presents ("How come they always tell you what they almost got you?"), being adopted and why gay men live a better life than straight men. But as tough of a city Boston can be when it comes to comedy, Joe DeRosa left to a standing ovation.

You can check out Joe DeRosa at www.joederosacomedy.com and on Myspace.

23 August 2006

I'm Rick James Bitch!

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Tonight is the night. Dave Chappelle, live at Agganis Arena and your's truly has floor seats! That's like...sitting next to Jack Nicholson at a Lakers game man! Me and the lovely Miss GDS (I bet you're wondering what that stands for) are gonne head up there with 2 of my friends and see the funniest man alive do what he does best...uhh...be funny.

I'll recap the night first thing in the morning since you didn't get to go. Hah!

Chappelle is my homeboy!

21 August 2006

"Snakes" #1

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As I predicted, "Snakes on a Plane" is the #1 movie in America. Estimated ticket sales are at $15 million which is a little less than what I expected and even more unbelievable New Line Cinema actually thought it could have taken in at least $30 million! Even with their new internet marketing campaign there was no way "Snakes" was opening at $30 million. The movie was horrible to begin with, I don't care how much you hype it up. They should be satisfied with the outcome and pray they make their money back (which they should, seeing they only spent $30 million to make it).

But Hollywood felt that since "Snakes" did poorly, internet marketing is not the way to go. How do you judge that based on the worst movie of the year; a movie so bad some say the trailer and movie ads were more enjoyable than the movie. Internet marketing is the future of the industry, especially with sites like MySpace and NellyNandes.com (gotta plug my own site, lol). "Snakes" didn't fail because the internet marketing model is flawed, "Snakes" failed because, well, the movie is flawed! "Snakes" was a movie that was going to make the majority of it's money the first weekend, the drop significantly thereafter.

I'm not going to watch this movie and probably won't buy it when it comes out on DVD. But, if you have a bootleg hook it up, haha.

20 August 2006

Dear Sox Fans, Applications Available

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The Yankees Clubhouse has opened up its membership to frustrated Red Sox fans around the globe. Why be disappointed with your home town team, that cares zero for its fans and join an organization with 26 World Series Championships and 39 Pennants; a team with more championships than any other professional sports team in the entirety of North America.

The Sox once again were embarrassed by the ever-so-great New York Yankees and in three games have been outscored 39-20 and have walked 28 batters in 27 innings. You don't need to be a mathematician to understand these numbers mean only one thing: spanking. Actually let me capitalize that: SPANKING. Ah, that feels so much better.

Even though the Sox did not come through offensively this series we can't blame the batters. And although the lack-luster picthing staff has put on an atrocious performance, fans can't really blame them either. Not that it matters to me because I could care less but the fingers should be pointing to Mr. Epstein and Mr. Francona. Theo had plenty of opportunity to fix his lame excuse of a bullpen; a bullpen with no left-handed reliever playing against a team where half the batters are left-handed. Francona doesn't know when to take out his starters. Josh Beckett walked 9 batters last night. No other Red Sox pitcher has walked that many guys in a game since 1975! Joe Torre would never have let that happen, but then again Torre is a much better manager. You can hate the Yankees but you have to respect Joe Torre.

As a manager how do you let your pitchers give up 3 runs without the Yankees even swinging a bat? With bases loaded Beckett and Delcarmen walked 3 batters scoring 3 runs. It must be tough being a Red Sox fan, but I woudn't know! I will always don the pinstripes.

So will the savior of the team, Sir Bloody Foot Curt Schilling, the Knight in Shining Armor save the day for the Sox tonight? I doubt it and Wells might as well forfeit tomorrow. If we can sweep the Sox in their own backyard I will be rocking the largest and most cheesiest smile this side of Oklahoma and finally Sox fans can stop blaming my Yankees and start looking at their own sorry excuse for a team.

19 August 2006

A Sign of Things to Come

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A few posts ago I inserted a great quote about determination, something the Yankees have been showcasing lately. Determination. The one lesson all non-Yankee lovers should have learned by now is never count the Yankees out. This great team has been in the top of the league for many years when it relates to comeback wins. True, the Yankees have had their share of failures in the past but understand this team is the personification of resilience and determination.

Take last night's game against the rival Red Sox. The Sox were up 10-7 going into the 7th inning and fans were already celebrating the win. Down 3 runs with 3 full innings to go, Yankees were being counted out. That's an easy one run per inning. Instead, the Bombers did what they do best and played some small ball and easily scored 7 runs in the 7th inning, at which point the Sox were not coming back. The damage was done psychologically. The Sox can be clutch especially when you have Big Papi in your lineup, but they are a better clutch team when down by a run or two, not four.

Everyone expected the Yankees to win the first game. That was obvious. It was almost a gimme. Overall last night's game was rather sloppy and the high scoring finish came from mostly poor fielding from both team's (I love Wily Mo, he should suck in Right Field more often). But now the test comes in these next three games. Actually next two games since I doubt David Wells is going to do any damage against my guys.

If should be a fun yet tough series for the Sox and Yanks but I still see the Bombers coming out on top and finishing the season as the AL East Division Champs (for the ninth time in a row I might add), well ahead of the Sox. And quite honestly I don't see the Sox making the playoffs either. The Red Sox are going through a similar period that the Yankees have already adjusted to: injuries. The Yankees have been without Matsui and Sheffield since May and June. They lost Cano for a lengthy time, but have made adjustments by using Cabrera, Cairo, Green and trading for Abreu and Craig Wilson. How’s that for a depth chart! The Sox have not made any such successful adjustments to their lineup and bench, which is as deep as a kiddie pool. And that’s why they’re lacking some serious chemistry. Yankees, we've dealt with that already and imagine all the obstacles that have been put in our path then imagine when Sheffield and Matsui rejoin the team. September will be a glorious month.

18 August 2006

Snakes on a Plane?

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The time has come. The moment you have been waiting for. The day that has garnered more attention than a Paris Hilton sextape. Maybe not as much but it's close. Today is the day "Snakes on a Plane" opens in theaters across the nation. I haven't seen this much hype for a bad movie since...ever! And finally the movie is here. And it's going to suck. Real bad.

But one thing is for sure, everyone will be watching it this weekend and it will no doubt be the #1 movie. Why? It's all about the hype baby! We all know going in that "Snakes" will probably be the worst movie since Gigli and Battlefield Earth, but moviegoers want to see what all the hype is about. It's a classic marketing move on the part of New Line Cinema since they know they will own the Box Office this weekend. It's an over-the-top movie with a dumb plot line but I'm sure will have its share of action. Plus, it stars the Baddest Man on the Planet, Samuel L. Jackson. Expect classic one-liners in this movie, lines that will be recited for years to come. But after this weekend, don't expect it to make much money. David Ellis, the director, was also responsible for "Cellular" and "Final Destination 2." Need I say more? But at the end of the day your ass will be in the seats this weekend.

Then the title, another genius marketing ploy. Again, you know what to expect. What's it about? Snakes on a plane! What else do you want? If they named it Pacific Flight 27 it would do horribly because you wouldn't know what to expect. "Snake on a Plane", genius, and almost satirical. Same with 40 Year Old Virgin (which is the #2 funniest movie ever made) and World Trade Center, you know exactly what it's about. But the fact still remains, you're most likely going to watch the movie. Not watching this "Snakes" is like being the kid who wasn't invited to the party. You know the party is going to be horrible, but the fact that you weren't invited makes you seem "uncool". Because that's what this movie is: cool. All the cool kids will be watching it and don't expect to see many people older than 25 in the theaters. The story is probably the worst since Time Machine but it's going to be a cheesy action packed movie that you'll probably forget about on Monday, but you will enjoy yourself for 105 minutes. That much I can guarantee.

But wait. I think I just figured out an ingenious plan to fight terrorism. Since the whole London terrorist plot has made people even more afraid to fly, what better way to prevent future attacks? Snakes on a plane! Think about it, everyone is afraid of snakes, even terrorists. Throw a few venomous snakes on a Boeing 757 and you have yourself a state of the art anti-terrorist program! Air Marshals are human so therefore can be easily coerced if it came down to it. But even the most skillful terrorist can't talk himself out of a fatal bite from an Australian Black Cobra. But there are some risks. Snakes being snakes, may potentially attach an innocent passenger, but I say the War on Terror is a global effort. Take one for the team. But I am a realist and I doubt Homeland Security will go for that idea, so I have a backup plan.

If we can't get killer snakes on a plane why not equip them with the only thing tougher: Samuel L. Jackson! Sam was in Pulp Fiction! Who's badder than Jules Winnfield? I know if I was a terrorist I would be scared out of my mind with Samuel L. Jackson on board. Let's make it happen. Who's with me?

17 August 2006

It's Alive! It's Alive!

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Skyboxx is back up and running! It took some time but I just wound up buying a new hard drive and starting over. Best Buy had a nice 250GB (that's a lot of porn) for only $100 so I went with that. Remember, always back up your data! My last backup was May 11 of this year, yes I lost lots of valuable data. All those movies and music gone. You live and you learn. So all is left is installing all this damn software I had on here before. This is gonna suck, but at least I'm back on the Skyboxx.

Help Support the Terrorists

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"Woah Nelly! What are you doing, are you crazy?" Well I figure if CNN is helping them out, why can't I? "But CNN is one of the most respected news outlets in the country, they wouldn't help terrorists!" Riiiiiight. So what am I getting at? Well, I always find it amusing that news programs, not just CNN, have no qualms about broadcasting the US's vulnerabilities to the rest of America and the World. Over the past few days, since the foiled terrorist plot in the UK, CNN has been exploiting this whole ordeal with a segment they call "Target: USA." How's that for an attention grabber? One reporter even had a segment about all the different areas of the country that are vulnerable to terrorist attacks and another anchor explained how to make a "liquid bomb," and the hilarity in all of came when the other anchor said "well, we don't want to give the terrorists any ideas." So that made me think. Picture bin Laden chilling in his cave condo, stretched out on his nice granite sofa watching CNN via satellite, taking notes thinking "Wow, why didn't I think of that? Hey, Ahmed, come check this out, this is some good stuff."

It's naive to think that terrorists aren't watching our news programs especially when people think there are terrorists living among us. The media exploiting the weaknesses of these United States is threatening national security...not boarding a plane with makeup and lotion.

Bowling for Nellywood

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Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

- John Calvin Coolidge -


Last night I meet up with a lovely young lady (what a hottie) who was insistent on defeated me in bowling. I am in no way a professional bowler but I'd like to think that I can hold my own in most situations. Miss GDS on the other hand hasn't bowled in years, so she was in for a treat. At least, that's what I assumed. She beat me and not only did she beat me, I had my worst performance in years by scoring only 95 points. I wasn't too happy about the loss but even more disappointed about the 95. But I was determined to win, determined to excel...and we were also taking bets so, yeah, I wasn't trying to lose again! We start game two and Nelly Nandes, the Prince, commences to destroy every pin his path scoring 2 spares and 5 strikes (four of which were in a row), thus crushing his all-time high by scoring 191 points. Meanwhile, Miss GDS was pouting her eyes out because not only did she bowl worse than the first game (she scored only 75), but she lost by 116 points, and I beat my record against her...and I'll brainstorm more reasons and get back to you.

So what's the moral of the story? If you want to beat me in bowling challenge me to one game only. If we play two then prepare for the worst loss of your life! Oh, that sounds so dramatic.

16 August 2006

New Business Terms

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Here are some new terms for the people and situations we experience at work. I'm sure many of you know people who fit these descriptions and if you don't you are probably one of these terms. Enjoy.

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves.

Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

Career Limiting Move (CLM) - Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message " 404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

Ohno-Second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my...um...friend."

Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Mouse Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two Children, and Oppressive Mortgage".

Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamp


15 August 2006

Annoying Girls, Don't Like 'Em

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Why is it that when girls talk to me they feel the need to impress me. I don't want it to sound like Nelly Nandes is such a wonderful guy...a guy you can take home to mommy and help her blow out her 3 birthday cakes, haha (inside joke). I just got off the phone with a girl I used to date like three years ago (yes, she still calls me, no idea why), and it's one of those conversations where everything has to revolve around her. She notices I'm not interested so she says something she thinks will impress me "I have to go get my body waxed this week." That's so random, you have to segue into a conversation about body waxing. You can't bring it up out of left field expecting me to react to it favorably. You can't go from talking about what color you want to paint your bathroom to waxing your pubic hairs...doesn't work that way. It's very annoying and it's a huge turn off for me.

I don't care how many stalkers you say you have, or how the you went to the mall and all the guys were trying to "holla" at you. That doesn't turn me on. You want to get me going, then let's have a nice intellectual, grown-up conversation...you know, something that two adults would do. Let's refrain from the child-like behaviors because it's not cute and add some content to the conversation. Thank you.

MayDay! Skyboxx Down!

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So Skyboxx (my computer) crashed the other day, stating some problem with my hard drive. This sucks big time! I can always get another hard drive, since they are getting cheaper by the day, but I haven't backed up my hard drive since last year! You know, a wise man (not sure who) once said the best way to learn is the hard way. That way you will never forget. Well Mr. Wise Man, I'm pretty sure I learned a valuable lesson: Don't buy Western Digital hard drives. No wait, that's not it. Always back up your hard drive! I haven't lost hope yet. I'm going to keep my hard drive and see if I can fix it later, but for now I'm going to go out and buy another one and start over because I can't stand not using my computer, which will be renamed Skyboxx 1.5.

The Love Scapegoat

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Yeah I know love is blind. Everyone says it, not too many people understand what it means. Since I’ve never been in love does that automatically discount my opinions and advice about it? Do I have to be in love to understand? I see love as being illogically logical and logically illogical, meaning you may not understand why love makes sense and at the same time you understand why love doesn’t make any sense. I’ve been single for God knows how long but I’ve had my share of experiences with women and I’ve lived vicariously through some of my friends’ relationships and heartbreaks. I don’t consider myself a relationship expert by any means and my opinion is just that…an opinion. Caveat Emptor. But in the same token, those individuals who have been in relationships for as long as they can remember, and I’m referring mostly to the girls, are not necessarily relationship experts either.

If you have always been “spoken for” and never had a long stretches of being single, how valid is your opinion of relationships when you’ve only seen one side of it? Same goes for myself and my situation, but I’ve already stated that I’m no Dr. Phil. But they don’t come to me for advice for no apparent reason. Maybe it’s because I actually listen or that my advice means something to them. Who knows? I don’t think it matters and the fact remains I still get the “Nelson, what should I do?” questions.

I look at relationships in the most logical way possible, break it down to the simplest of pieces. Yeah love isn’t logical and can make you do the darnedest of things, but too many people use love as an scapegoat in overshadowing their own internal conflicts. I see girls with assholes for boyfriends, guys who absolutely treat them like shit, unfaithful bastards who question their every action. You ask this poor soul why she continues on with this emotionally abusive relationship and she gives you a copout bullshit answer “because I love him.” Meanwhile deep down inside she refuses to confront her fear of being alone and since she’s already invested so much emotionally and physically she decides to put up with him and his outlandish behavior claiming she can change him. I find it absolutely ludicrous how we thrive to change others when we are usually the one who needs the changing.

Ladies, please do yourselves a favor and assess your situation. Any man who cheats on his girlfriend, understand that it’s a conscious decision. You don’t accidentally cheat on someone, there’s always intention, and yet all it takes to amend heartache is a couple I’m Sorrys and a few I Love Yous. It’s like a kiss on the booboo. And she still claims that he’s the one? Give me a break! “Oh he still loves me.” He loves you so much he shares his love with homegirl down the street. “We worked it out.” What the hell does that mean? How do you work that out? That’s like a slap on the wrist, go in timeout, all is well. Anyone who treats you like shit is shit. That’s not love so don’t give me that “he beats me because he loves me” story.

Quite frankly I have no respect for people who put up with bullshit like this. I’ll keep it real. Not all relationships are meant to be. Your current partner might be the one for you, your soul mate or may be just a test on your character. Who knows? Endure it if you must because you’ll learn a lot about yourself but understand also that you are still young and Mr. or Miss Right is probably waiting for you at the bus stop. You deserve the best person out there, remember that. Contrary to popular belief not all guys are dogs and assholes. There are nice guys waiting for you to give them a chance.